Our Story
On February 27, 2019 we got the worst call any parent can imagine. Our son was found unresponsive during nap time at the residence of his care provider. The EMTs performed CPR on Lane for 90 minutes but it was too late.
Lane’s autopsy report came back at the end of May 2019 and we were forced to re-live the worst day of our lives all over again when we read the document. We were told our son’s death was, in fact, preventable.
Lane suffocated during his nap as a result of improper infant sleeping arrangements.
Our world has been forever changed with the loss of Lane and we will always feel the emptiness without him.
We are working to promote safe infant sleeping guidelines among all, parents and care providers alike, to prevent this from happening to anyone else.
Read our full story below and or watch video:
That day started out just like any other day. I remember hearing Lane cooing on the monitor at 3:30 in the morning.
I went into his room where he was as happy as can be. I spoke to him, “hey little dude, we can still sleep for a couple more hours.” I gently placed his pacifier in his mouth, and he quickly fell back to sleep. Our alarm went off at 6:00am and I went to get Lane ready while my husband got our other son dressed for the day. My husband then took our two sweet boys to their in-home daycare while I went to my Nursing Clinical, where I’d been pursuing my RN.
The day was moving along just like any other until I took my lunch break and looked at my phone.
I had a text from my husband that read, “Call me, Lane has been found unresponsive.”
I ran and told my instructor about the message, and then ran as fast as my feet would carry me to my car while dialing my husband, Collin’s phone number. He was crying and couldn’t get a single word out. I asked, unbelieving, “He’s dead, isn’t he?” The doctor took the phone from Collin and said, “I’m sorry Mrs. Birch but you’re son passed away.” I’m not sure I completely felt the impact of the words before falling to my knees. I was sobbing in some undescript building next to the hospital I’d been in my Clinicals at.
I called my parents. “Lane is dead, and we won’t come back from this,” continued to pour from my mouth.
It was all I could say, over and over again.
A Sheriff’s Deputy picked me up after almost an hour so I didn’t have to drive in my condition. One of my co-workers stayed on the phone with me, crying, until the Deputy arrived, which seemed like an eternity.
The Deputy was so kind in so many ways. We called my other son, Easton, to make sure he was okay.
Easton, knew Lane was dead, but I’m not sure he fully understood what that meant. All I could do was tell Easton how much I loved him and that I would see him very soon. We arrived at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics after 2pm and my husband, Collin, and my parents were already there. I ran into Collin’s arms and completely fell apart.
Shortly after my arrival, we were questioned by detectives and a medical examiner.
We felt guilty and almost like we were suspects of some kind of wrong-doing.
My brother arrived soon after with our son, Easton, who kept saying “Lane is dead.”
A very kind and patient nurse came from mother-baby unit with books and a teddy bear so we could explain to our sweet, young Easton that his brother died and cannot come back.
We were able to see Lane around 4:00pm. I vividly remember walking into the room, seeing his tiny body laying gently on the table with a tube in his mouth. He looked pale and almost like he was sleeping. I held him in my arms, close to my heart, and told him how much we loved him and how precious he is. I’m not sure how long I held him close, and when I kissed him, he was so cold on my lips. I never wanted to let him go. I walked out of that room broken. I regret not spending more time with him, everyday. We left the hospital that day with one son, not two.
The following days are a blur. We spent much of our time at home with friends and family checking in on us constantly.
My husband and I went through so many emotions that week. We had to pick out a casket, music to play at Lane’s wake, buy a plot for him to be buried… so many decisions and no time to process anything at all. I remember everything so vividly but truthfully, the memories are like a terrible nightmare that I live, day in and day out. It has been almost a year since the passing of my sweet boy and not a moment goes by that I don’t wish I could have him back. I would do it all over again to have him back for those amazing 4 months he spent with us on Earth.
He is so worth it. He is loved beyond words.
His heart will be forever in mine.
Fly high, Bubba.